For some people, reaching their aimed goals is just a dream. I know of people who lust so much for something, or let me spell it out. You were in a battle for that damsel you so wished for yourself, but as Allah wanted it, she’s all yours at last.

Not all man’s desire come his way

Wind blows a times in a direction 

Not desired by ships.

You never forced her, rather, you both came into an understanding agreement of love, of peace, of oneness, of oath, of worship, of the Sunnah of Muhammad (SAW).

One of the questions I have not been able to give response to is the secret behind the courageous enthusiasm joining people from different background, ideology, culture, ethnic group and what have you, together to live under a roof.

Imagine, people from different countries marrying each other for the sake of Allah and live in peace and joy. It is a very strong Iman that holds that firm. Allah says:

O you men! surely We have created you of a male and a female, and made you tribes and families that you may know each other.

Q49 vs 13.

I have lived in the same hostel with people from different parts of the world, I know what it means sharing a room with someone you don’t even know. But in a conjugal tie, I don’t think the reason is just your love for her or hers towards you; but first your both submission to the will of Allah. To be able to take an oath of marrying each other to keep your chastity, abstain from Haram and hold firm to the pure virtue of the pious Muslims.

Indeed, it is a great sign of Allah.

And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.

Suratu Rum. Q 30vs 21.

My brother, so lucky you are. Give thanks To Allah. But, don’t just have your head over heels in love and step out of line. As a groom, you have a lot to do……..

One of which I don’t need tell you, I pray Allah makes you one of those who will produce good ambassadors for this Ummah. Train them well.

Now to your wife.

I have never met a newly married brother who doesn’t memorize the verse in Suratu Nisa…

Men are the maintainers of women. Q4vs34.

They fail to read through till the end of the verse. From now on, open your eyes and brain. All those things you’ve been giving to her before marriage are just charity. Now, it is a must you spend more than that on her.

Her needs are all on you and I pray Allah provide for you from His bounties.

You think it is a joke, her pads, hospital bills, and some other things you know I can’t mention is on you. You don’t need to sigh, don’t be angry or else you will suffocate.

Talk to her with respect. At least the way you address other ladies outside, your colleagues at work, friends in school, your sister’s in-law, clients and co. Why yell at your everlasting partner. I know you see some people do that, YOU MUST NOT, correct her with tenderness, cool words, don’t abuse her. If you have problem with her, not her parents should be your toothpick.

I know you’ve heard about departing her bed if she gets on your nerves. Yes, but not at the cost of punishing her that much, that could lead to hurting her a lot, remember your promises to her. Keep her between your hands, hug her and forgive her. After all, you err her a times too.

Hoooo, they say you can beat her, you need to ask scholars about how the beating should be as speculated by the Kitab. It should be lesser than a mother’s stroking her child. She is not a punching bag. Some words of advise will do.

My dear brother…. You must never be absent minded. She needs your attention always, give it to her and you will have hers yoo. But be careful, don’t forget Allah’s period in your love.

Beauty is the wisdom of lady and wisdom is the beauty of men. Both beauties must not be tarnished.

She might do something childish, maybe she wants something. Just be careful and train her well. Answer her call whenever she calls.

She is your blanket and you are hers. Not only on bed; keep her secrets, amongst your friends and even family, your wife should not be the talk of the town except talking good about her.

You have a lot of duties with her, so let me stop here and end by advising you to please control what your wife and your children wear and watch at home.

Lastly, in case you are taking in another wife, believe me, there is nothing wrong with polygamy, but something will be definitely wrong if you don’t learn the system well. Polygamy is not the problem, you might be, so before going into it. Think trice.

I will tell you one Secret, just make sure your wife did not see this. Don’t promise her you won’t marry another wife, stop making foolish promises. You know not what might happen but take care of her. Stop saying it is sunnah to take four wives and forget the Wajib of taking care of the first one. Complete a Wajib before doing another Sunnah. Get me well, marrying another wife could be Wajib a times. 

Don’t forget the part I asked you to show her and the part not to. Please, take care of her, in there lies your reward and happiness. Let me say, Barakallahu Lakuma, wa baraka alaykuma, wajama’a baynakuma bil khayr.

I wish you a happy married life.

©Ibraheem Ahmad. {Broken Pen}

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