Some days ago, I was in a group reading with a big brother, Nah, he is a mentor, Sheikh Isa Taiwo. Someone I look up to so highly. We were talking about crimes, then we turned the topic into a discussion about sinful acts, then focused on adultery and fornication.
The funny thing was that our talk was full of ideas and examples but I later came up with a solution. Of course there are lots to issues like this, depending on what perspective your view springs, then to whom is the case linked and how it happened.
Many houses and families are mixed up today in the name of love, you can’t differentiate who is who, I don’t know how to put this, but let me just say it; allowing a family member live with you in your house and then forget all about orders and manners. I mean someone who has come of age, especially a lady. Some even change their surnames because they are living with someone, are you an orphan, it is high time you swore affidavit.
When a lady lives in the house of her sister’s husband, give it any translation you want, it is not too good, unless she is there on visit, but as her abode, No.
Abeg, Who is the wife? The husband might be libidinal or abused one day in his wife’s absence, what do you think could happen. The reverse could also be the case, wife at home with husband’s brother, Oko gangan o sinile.. I am not talking about rape but don’t rule it out too. Man rapes woman, woman rapes man, Power pass power.
I have heard a case where a wife is also sleeping with the husband’s brother, there’s nothing new under the sky, but then, who is to blame, the origin of all these mess is the so called love or ties in it’s wrong understanding.
Of course there is nothing bad in sheltering a member of your spouse’s family or even friend but in what name and in which type of apartment. Humans are not goats, how does it sounds, when you are having a love affair with your wife inside and someone in the parlour could fathom all that’s going on. I don’t know when marital affair became porn.
Because you don’t want to look bad in the eyes of others, you want to put your family in jeopardy. A visit would make sense, but transfer like a footballer for a long season into my house should be questioned. Even players without purpose are not sheltered, they send them packing.
Everyone needs privacy, I want to train my children in a way people won’t be able to brainwash them off good thoughts, my way, my teachings, my children. We should at least be considerate while sending our children to go live else where. Let’s think of their privacies and that of the people they are going to stay with.
They say “I’ll be like your mother can’t ever do half of what mothers do for children”, so are fathers. But then, what is it that prompt people to give others their nine month tummy protrusion suffering, a year breastfeeding if not more, three years everyday washing and cleaning, long sleepless night and a full day standing oration…. All these troubles and sacrifices, then throw it out to live else where, no matter how old they are, children are not birds, they are jewels to be kept.
I know what poverty could spell but then, is it not enough feeding your family with what you get? I am not talking about family planning, rather income planning, financing your family according to your pocket, they are your problem and your problem alone; Solve it. Don’t listen to the dictation of life, try your best and you’ll gradually graduate and make it. Strivers are strikers.
Because he is rich doesn’t mean you should pack your childrens’ bags and baggages to his front door. You might be related for real, but believe me, he or she has plans too. If he wants to help you, let him, but don’t go so low by giving a child out.
Many might disagree with my view, but the atrocities committed these days and still counting because a sister is living in a husband’s wife is not a secret to be disclosed, this has not just begin, it has been before our generation like a curse and its arrow is still running after us.
There is a family in a town where it is forbidden to call a child ‘bastard’, all because it is a normal thing for a younger brother to sleep with his brother’s wife, although secretely but they don’t bother even if they get to know; the wife could also do the same. The only crime is when someone above commits such with a wife of a younger one to him. Funny, he could also do that to the above and the above and the above, just don’t descend, graduate…..
I am not saying don’t let your wife’s sister stay with you, you can but in which apartment? Face me I face you house, in a room, in a one bed room flat, room and parlour self contain, you’ll have your children too oooo… It is not too proper.
I am not saying this because I have my own house, No. I and friends pay house rent together, you can do the same.
They say, if you are not up to a father’s task, don’t call a beans cake seller. Let your child live in your house no matter how small it is, train them well and they will build you a better house in future, house of honour, dignity and peace. Where there won’t be a burden on anyone and you will be insult Free.
Don’t rush into marriage when you are not fully ready, marriage is not all about sex, even if it is, how do you plan taking care of the result, will you send your children to your parents to take care for you, who trained you, plan well and leave the rest to God. Don’t repeat the same mistake some of our father made, or else, you’ll end up creating beds for your children but not under your roof.
You still live in your sister’s marital home, be careful, don’t fall victim and don’t destabilize her house. I beg of you. Na still dat place you dey bring your boyfriend oooo. Haba.
Hey damsel, how do you take your bath, how do you go about your make up, how do you sleep, where do you bring your friends, boyfriend or girlfriend, how do you change your wears, during your period, how do you clean up, are you comfortable, are you not ashamed? I am not insulting you but i care so much for you.
You know what, I have a better solution for you, Lo Mu Oko Wale and get married, maybe you will stop flying.
Have a nice weekend and visit your sister.