Watching a Yoruba movie a week ago, I salute our forefathers for the arduous journey they had to go through before securing a wife.

Days when there were nothing like technology, getting in touch with a fiancee is cumbersome, guys go block their loved ones in the bush to chat, even though that was unusual and must be behind the scene, they still tried their best.

Abi wetin dem won do, they sha go marry na.

Thanks to Facebook, WhatsApp, Skype and co, all you need is get connected. You can even have your marriage online. You don’t have her parent’s trouble, questions and formalities to be weary of.
I laugh in mockery when I read or hear about how the kings of then suffer and call it enjoyment. Sit on a bench and call it throne, put on all sorts of robes to showcase their status, well that’s what was in vogue. Making love with a lady that doesn’t really love you. what enjoyment is there?  Accidentally, they were always bestowed with girls to marry, either they like it or not, they (girls) had no choice, they (kings) always liked it. Oba Ba Lori Oun Gbogbo.

Although some parents forced their daughters, they might be in love with someone else. If I am not the king, i can at least be the king’s inlaw. Poor ladies; Subjected to oppression, fear, nudity, shame and rape, if that still exist today, fight for your right girl, it is terrorism. God save those kings i was not alive then. Won ba gba.

They (kings) do the same thing as others in a different and modified way and call it enjoyment. I really don’t like the King’s life, they are prior to public comments, cheat the public to be OK, their case is like that of a drum, to me it’s the face and the rear to someone else.
A lay man -then- always go through all sorts of procedure before marrying; how good are you on farm, how powerful are you while fighting the others, how long do you stay on farm untired, that’s what parents consider before giving their daughter’s hands out in marriage. It was always about how tough you are doing tough things. If that is still the case in your area, don’t trouble yourself, Lagos ladies will love you for who you are, just be a good guy. Don’t think they are cheap, they are not but reasonable.
The criterion ladies consider most those days is how famous their man is amongst others. Just like today, ladies love their boyfriends to be known for something; head of a band, academics, footballer, celeb, politician, even head of thugs, check them, they always have the most beautiful damsels in the community. Agbero nko?

You know what? I am bend to really talking about the change we have these days; i dont want to talk about then coz i was not there, if i was, that won’t happen. Yet, those men took good care of their wives.
Then, when men cook, suffer at farms, even some Fulani, Nupe and some Hausa tribesmen get the beating of their lives just to marry a lady, they believe the longer you could withstand the beating, the abled you are withstanding hardship and ladies cunny problems. All these, just to be loved by a lady, you think i’ll be alive then and let things be in such an order? Now it’s the men’s turn to punish ladies maybe.
The way some husband treat their wives makes me think like they’re taking revenge on them. What revenge? Are they taking revenge for their fathers or what? Sweetheart before wedding, Hey you! after marriage.
The rule is, husband must be respected by their wives, it is not a must from him towards his wife. Even if the wife is older than the husband, she still has to say Yes Sir, as for the husband, throw away the ma’am. And we say age is not a barrier. You can respect someone else outside older than you but not your wife.

I donno if wives are maid or something to use as you want when needed like hankerchiefs, even maids are not employed to be killed.

Go know! when a wife is the only one that stands up to all cores of the house and won’t be appreciated at the end of the day, they ask themselves why did I get married?

Yet they try pleasing the men with every effort they’ve got, they are just not appreciated, after all, it is their jobs as wives to do and do. All you do is play the Ragae and play the Blues. There is no thank you for a compulsory act, sebi you are not a fool.

When you try doing things but to no avail, the first thing you blame is your struggle. 

They do most they do just to make their husbands happy, but the husbands see it as a normal thing they should or must do; scold them for not washing on time, for a simple mistake that occurs once in a while, they are in soup;

       Why is your food salty today?,  there’s no water at home as if she is the water cooperation company, wash that and iron this -now-, I need the toast bread in 5 minutes or forget it, even some wives go to buy petrol to fuel the generator in some Africa countries. What madness, I donno the similarity between market and petrol station, what are the husbands doing?

Dede Merawo, be passionate to your wife my brother, she is not a machine, at least ask her, once in a while if not all times….


     Are you tired, are you sick, do you need something, are you having headache, have I hurt you anyway, should I take you to hospital, do you miss your mummy, should we go visit them, should I take you to the beach… 

Questions of this type will do it, but when you complain she’s not looking good as your neighbour’s wife, whereas she wasn’t like that while you were pursuing her, send all friends to her, copy and paste love messages from google to gain her pure heart, now see what you made her look like after her innocent yes.

Don’t blame others for your misdeed, your neighbour did his assignment, that’s why his wife is looking radiant to you, –Mr. Oniranu-. Why not learn from him?
You deprive her of mind rest, you complain her every move, that is even if you ain’t a wife beater, you are not making her feel good from the inside and you want her to look good. Some go to the extent of bullying their wives then buy them makeup to cover it up. Someone you beat, you still want her to look good!

The first way to looking good is feeling good. Why do you think ladies don’t look that beautiful while pregnant, it’s coz they are not feeling too good like themselves, a times worked up and worn out, that’s just one out of many reasons.
You punish her and want her to look good. Ladies, don’t keep the shame, don’t cover your scar with make ups. No matter how good your stylist is, no matter how costly your pancake costs, if you are not happy from the inside, you still will look like a horrible African witch.
Make your wife happy, treat her as if she is still that girlfriend; all those poem, all those text messages…. Why do people stop it when they get married. You can message her while at work, on your travel, in the conference, make her feel like your heart’s with her and not at the conference even though it is a lie, make her feel like she is the the best, of course, she is to you.
Thanks to Mugabe, who advises men to stop calling their wives cheap things like my honey, my sugar, rather to calling them names like my bag of rice, my elephant and co, they will feel important. Joke with them.
No one loves you more than your wife do. They will always treat you like mothers treat children. The truth is that mothers are the best, but she has a husband too. Mothers are best to our daddy(ies) than they are to us. I am not comparing both coz I can’t do justice to that. Our love for them is different, a motherly love is different from a wife’s love, don’t mix it up, and you can’t transfer or exchange it.

A stage will come in life when you can’t sleep in the same room with your mother. Check your side, who do you see, and ask yourself, how do you treat her?

Have a romantic weekend, with your wife niooooo. I talk my own.

©Broken Pen